Self Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder
by Amaterasu Kinesi
Summary: Waking up in the morning can turn into a bit of a sticky situation when you are one lovesick Jasper Whitlock. Making it better with a walk in the rain, to wash it all away, can simply lead to a few thundery moments... Follow the arrows -Simple as that.
1. Follow The Trail

_**Disclaimer:**_

_For all intents and purposes;_

_No copyright infringement intended. The Twilight Saga and all characters involved within this story are the property of __**Stephenie Meyer**__. However, the plot is entirely my own._

_-This applies to the rest of the story._

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**_OoO_**

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**Self Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder**

_Beep__… __beep,__bee-bee-be-beep__… _

_(A sound that breaks through the sweet bliss of dark unconsciousness –sleep.)_

A tired moan, that sounded more like a groan, feathered fleetingly through my parting lips, when seemingly incoherent vibrations turned to sound and escaped my dry lips.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

I moaned, yet again, as I shifted underneath the soft cotton of my peacock-colored bed sheets and sank deeper into their lingering warmth. Feeling the gentle kiss of the sun's warmth seeping through my closed mahogany-wooden blinds gave me a slight pause. The warmth of the morning sun turned my frowning lips into a content, reminiscent, gentle smile as I remembered, in fragmented frames and images, parts of my interrupted sweet dreams –sadly, always a dream never to be made into reality.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

However, at the still lingering, shrilling annoyance and the sudden realization that something was amiss, a frown creased my brow, which brought my attention to a small discomfort at the very center of it. I sighed. It was kind of _sticky_. The thought of gingerly lifting my hand and explore what the discomfort might be crossing my mind, with fleeting repartee –it _was_ the thought that mattered. I muttered something incoherent under my breath, something along the lines of, "_Come __hit her __birdie __outside __my __window, __yes, __you, __the __one __making __the __ruckus__ –__I __mean, __singing__– __just __outside __my __window __and __swat __this __away_". Mind you, I'm not delusional, at least, not _yet_. I chuckled darkly as the thought of plucking all the feathers from that happy little bluebird just outside my window crossed my mind. Hey, it might give it something new to chirp about during my peaceful morning, which, incidentally, had no room for happy occurrences. Unless they came wrapped up in cream and peaches skin and accompanied the ruby mouth of my seductress… yes, only _then_.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

What was that infuriating noise? And why, oh why, was my unwillingness to move my hand, so as to scratch at the discomfort over my forehead, so irrevocable? Why was my body not obeying my chaste wishes? I sighed, yet again.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep… [Groan]_

Was this the true meaning of repercussion? What was happening around me, this morning? Finally, my unluckiness was catching up to my happiness. Too much of a good thing _can_ apparently be bad… Maybe the whole reincarnation thing was true and that was what was going on now, I wagered. My brow quirked in contemplation at the thought and caused whatever it was to poke my forehead, making it itchy. I _loathed_ being itchy. Great, now I'm pouting!

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

I think it is time for me to do something about that bickering _beep_,yes, the one obstructing through my calm ambience like a mad-hammer… just, let me find out what is on my forehead first. (Groan) I need more sleep! Dejectedly, I sighed.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

My hand, finally obeying the brainwaves sent its way, lifted as my eyes fluttered slightly open and I flinched. Opening my eyes was a _bad_ idea, just as they had opened, I had closed them and covered my stinging eyes with my right hand –halting my left hand's quest in the process. My supposedly closed blinds were actually currently open, allowing the blinding light of the sun to poor in… Strange. I thought I had closed them last night before going to bed. Though, this explained one mystery. Now, for the other.

_Beep… beep, bee-bee-be-beep…_

Slowly, experimentally, I tried opening my eyes once more but they wouldn't obey, time for calculating and taking inventory of my other senses then. Experimentally, I tried approaching the matter from another more appealing angle, if you would. My obedient left hand clenched and unclenched lightly at my side, my feet rotated in their socket, so everything was in order. Meaning, I was still not ready for waking, as a result my eyes remained closed a little while longer…

_Smell_. I took a small sniff of the air given the delicate whiff that suddenly invaded my senses, unable to identify it. –My lips curled into a diminutive, sincere and goofy-smile as my hand purposefully slammed onto the spiky off button on my alarm clock– Ahh… alarm clock, I see, that's what that annoying sound was. Another lungful and I realized that the air smelled like pancakes, syrup, eggs, maybe bacon, and something else that I could not place but attacked my stomach with hunger nonetheless, making it growl in response.

And that is what you call _yet_ another unexplainable occurrence to add to the list of growing mysteries –I had yet to wake, meaning, food should not be made and ready to eat. My stomach rumbled at the mere thought. And, since I'm still pointing out rare mysteries here, I had not set my alarm last night. Heck, I _never_set my alarm; I seem to have –what my best friend likes to call– an inhumane, internal alarm that wakes me up without the use of annoying technology. Then why, you may ask, do I have the unnecessary appliance?

Long story short –courtesy of the _best__friend_, truly explains it all. And, it is not just _any_alarm clock, which is the other part of the joke. It is, actually, a _Naruto _alarm clock; you know, from that _Anime_show –with the teenage, goofball, ninja in training, with spiky blond hair? No? Yes? Ring any bells in that racketing brain yet? The thing of the matter is that said best friend gave it to me for my last birthday, deciding to be funny because she thought _Naruto_ looked like me. She can be a kidder sometimes, that girl.

I smiled warmly at the sweet recollection, remembering how I had almost peed in my pants from laughing so much that day. That was, of course, after unsuccessfully trying to look indignant, which lasted two seconds flat. She had me running around the house with smoke bombs in our wake as we pretended that I was the goofball readying to do the "Sexy No Jutsu" and she became its sexy result in a barely there bikini after I escaped under the disguise of the smoke bomb, only to hide behind the closest pillar. Some chocked on food, others had soda spraying out of their noses, or both, due to our antics. Needless to say, the more responsible adults deemed food a safety hazard after that and held the food ransom and under surveillance until we quieted down. Did I mention I had turned twenty then?

Good memories, good times…

I wagered another swift waft of that sinfully delicious-smelling aroma and my stomach agreed with my too slow mind; I _needed_ to have that smell. Now, to go over my morning routines of 'Waking up by Jasper Whitlock' –First off, mess my already messy bed-hair –and… _what__is__this?_ I frowned as my hand met a flimsy obstruction as it lazily traveled the length of my face to my platinum-blond hair.

I lightly pulled at the square-like obstruction, it was _sticky_ but not hard to rid off, just took me off guard, and made my borrowed frown even more defined. Blinking furiously with undermined intrigue and trying, almost without success, to adjust my sensitive vision to the bright sunlight, as I stared ahead at what seemed to be a square piece of paper that I instantly recognized belonged to _her_, it could only be _hers_.

It was a light blue, _scented_ _sticky-note_, previously glued to my forehead and now my finger, with… writing on it, and shaped like an arrowhead? I squinted at the familiar scribble, trying to make out the words with my sleep heavy lidded eyes. No wonder I could not make out the words! I had it upside down! Righting the note, so that the arrow now pointed left, I squinted further, and read; _MORNING __SLEEPY __HEAD! __FOLLOW __THE __DIRECTION __OF __THE __ARROW __AND __LOOK __TO __THE __FLOOR!_

My heart began to pound adrenaline, in an erratic manner that could not possibly be healthy, pulsing blood through my veins and up, up to my suddenly lightheaded brain. I recognized the emotion –exhilaration. My poor heart was surely threatening to leave an imprinted bruise upon my chest where it conducted its assaulted thrashing –like I said, _unhealthy_. However, I could not help it or blame my weak heart; she always seemed to do these kinds of things to us –only _her_.

Just the thought of _her_being _here_, in my home, made me nervous. It did not matter that she came over every day, she still managed to tilt my axis and change my course and all the while I'd talk to her through the dryness of my cottonmouth. My palms instantly became sweaty, and my body was slowly but surely losing control as my heart pounded in something that was surely more than overdrive.

Feeling almost silly, I glanced at my chest, verifying that my assumptions were, in fact, exaggerations and that there would not be an imprint in the shape of my unruly heart there. Sighing with satisfaction at my discovery and surprised that I was "fine" and not going into cardiac arrest, I let my eyes lithely scan the room for any sight of _her_. Dismayed, I came up short; she was not here, within the confinements of my room.

Remembering what the note said, my hopes renewed. I sat up in bed and leaning over on my left, glanced at my wooden floor over the edge of my waterbed; I was wide-awake now. There, on the floor, was yet another, written on, light blue arrow-head-sticky-note, leading the many multicolored others. I chuckled and shook my head at the sight as I reached for the note with my next instructions. Only Bella could come up with something like this.

TO THE BATHROOM

FOLLOW THE SMALL ARROWED ROAD ;) [Wink]

NO STOPPING ALONG THE WAY!

I wobbled eagerly out of bed and once my feet hit the cold floor I padded over quickly to my dresser to gather the minimum essentials; underwear and an undershirt. But as I opened the drawer I was met with yet another post-it. This one read;

:| [Angry Face]

DO I KNOW YOU OR DO I KNOW YOU?

WHAT DID I INSTRUCT?

FOLLOW IT TO THE _LETTER_!

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**_OoO_**

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_**A/N:** There's more to come... this turned out to be longer than I had anticipated before... give me some reviews, please?_


	2. Get Me Through My Fear

**_A/N:_**_ I reposted the beginning of the story again, because I made some little changes here and there so if you had been waiting for the next installment to the story go back and reread that, if you'd like. However, I added some more to the story, so please, enjoy!_

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**OoO**

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**Self-Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder**

Closing the drawer and feeling a bit like a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar with chocolate all over my face, I turned to my right and followed the multicolored arrows that lead me to the door of my master bathroom with a goofy smile tilting the right corner of my mouth. My smile faltered as I hesitated under the threshold. Just before setting foot into the bathroom my breathing spiked and the sound of my own blood rushing in my ears rendered me deaf, causing me to sway mid step. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the sudden darkening around the corner of my eyes that threatened on the borderline of tunnel vision. I felt dizzy from the sudden realization that Bella wasn't here to talk me through this.

"I can do this. I can do this. Jasper, you can do this," I whispered under my breath as I once again began hyperventilating. My eyes shut tight, trying to block out the drumming of my spiriting heart and my panting breathes. I couldn't do this. Who was I trying to fool? Bella was always here to talk me through this moment. I've never once done it alone. I could not possibly start now, could I? I knew I had to… my eyes flashed open, catching sight of my ashen, sickly pale face and a white something on the surface of the mirror.

Curiosity pushing everything momentarily aside I stepped over the threshold and faced the mirror to find more of Bella's scribbles all over it. My mouth broadening into a sudden smile as I read;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE, AND G'MORNING!

READ THIS –

Carefully I removed the tapped note the arrow pointed to from the mirror and opening it I continued to smile as I read on;

HOW DOES IT FEEL, BECOMING SENILE AND ALL, THAT IS?

(I snorted at that.)

JASPER…

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND REMEMBER, IT'S _ONLY_ WATER.

I felt aggravated and insulted at that, she knew why I felt the way I did. How could she try to sooth me that way? She knew I never mocked _her_fear. Just when my indignation was about to reach a boiling point all my fears were squelched as I read on.

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, MY J, BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

I'M NO HYPOCRITE. YOU KNOW THAT.

ALL I'M SAYING IS, LETS PRETEND THAT, IN MY CASE, FOR TODAY, LIGHTNING IS JUST THAT, LIGHTNING…

Enlightenment had me pondering over her words as I began to undress. Could I really do this? She seemed to believe I was capable though. I took a shaky breath and continued to read.

TODAY, SINCE I CAN'T PHYSICALLY BE THERE FOR YOU, WE ARE GOING TO TAKE HOLD OF A NEW REALITY.

WE ARE GOING TO PRETEND THAT WATER IS JUST WATER AND YOU TAKE SHOWERS ALL THE TIME WITHOUT ME JUST OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR TALKING OR SINGING YOU THROUGH IT.

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

NOW, I WON'T BE RENDERING YOU COMPLETELY VULNERABLE. LOOK TO YOUR LEFT.

Doing as she requested I took notice of her iPod placed on my iPod loudspeaker sitting innocently on top of the counter. Frowning at that, Bella never went anywhere without her iPod, I went back to the note.

YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS MISTER!

I ALREADY FEEL NAKED JUST KNOWING THAT I'M LEAVING IT BEHIND.

OKAY, SO LET ME LET YOU GET BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND.

PRESS PLAY, THERE'S A SONG ALL SET TO SEE YOU THROUGH THIS, AND HOP IN.

REMEMBER, I'M STILL HERE FOR YOU.

She closed the letter with an actual kiss. I could smell the barely there scent of watermelon and see the light pink smudge clearly on the page. I couldn't help it; I brought my own lips to the smudge and lightly pressed my lips to it. My cheeks warmed up with a slight blush as my lips were left with a glimmer of her paper kiss.

Avoiding looking in the mirror I traced my lips, the telltale feel of a slow, all consuming fire smoldering their plumpness deliciously. I smiled a little sad, whishing I could truly feel her lips on mine, and trade kisses until I couldn't tell where I'd lost count of our exchange. I sighed, now fully unclothed and face the shower as I pressed play on Bella's iPod.

_Bohemian__Rhapsody_by _Queen_blared from the speakers, lips twitched with a chuckle trying to escape me. This was one of our favorite songs, Bella's and mine, because it had a deeper meaning to us just behind the lyrics that seemed to talk only of our fears.

I had five minutes and fifty-seven seconds to get through this…

_Is this the real life?_

_Is this just fantasy?_

_Caught in a landslide,_

I turned the tap and the rush of water joined in the harmony of the song along with the pounding of my heart. Closing my eyes I braced myself, asking whomever would listen to give me the strength to get through this without going into a panic attack.

_No escape from reality_

_Open your eyes,_

I did as the song asked and trying not to over think it, I hoped in the shower.

_Look up to the skies and see,_

Looking to the ceiling I felt my muscles tense and a tremor run through me as the shower rained on me and I fought the instinct to take flight. Breathing hard and labored I watched the steady spray that expelled from my lips every time I breathed through my mouth. It wasn't helping. Not the song and not the breathing. My body shook, as the tendrils of water seemed to solidify into wet, heavy fingers that were trying and succeeding to take me under.

_I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,_

_Because I'm easy come, easy go, _

_Little high, little low,_

I was cold but my nerve endings seem to be reminding my brain that the water was scalding.

"Bella," I choked out. "Bella…" I braced myself against the wall, feeling them closing in on me as the water pulled me down and under. I strained my ears, hoping to hear Bella's voice in the mist of my own personal storm's clamor. Nothing. Just the sound of the mocking water and the song bounced off the walls with a deafening force. Flashes of the past flooded behind my eyes as I closed them, attempting to detach myself from the moment.

_Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me_

_Mama, _

_Just killed a man,_

_Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, _

_now he's dead_

Dead. They were dead. I saw their bloated, ghostly faces, twisted with pain floating before me; water pouring from their every pore and their lifeless eyes stared at me, forever frozen in a state of panic. It had all been my fault. I shouldn't have–

_Mama, life had just begun,_

_But now I've gone and thrown it all away_

_Mama, oooh, _

_Didn't mean to make you cry,_

I didn't mean for their death, despite my selfishness. If only I hadn't prolonged our leave. If only we had left early, maybe…

_If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,_

_Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters_

We had been in the boat, setting sail to our new life when the storm hit without any warnings. There had been a promising overcast too, no storms should have been in sight, and we had been so close… just a few waves away from the La Push pier. But it was too late…

_Too late, my time has come,_

_Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time_

Everything was grey, foggy, and wave after wave crashed into us, until they overturned our boat. It felt like we were being swallowed by a greater monster that clung to us no matter how far away we swam from it because it kept swallowing and swallowing without showing any sign of tiring.

Even so, we fought against the unfeasible force of the unforgiving sea, kicking and punching at the deranged water and its eagerness to swallow us whole and pull us under. I cried and screamed at my parents when they seemed to give up on themselves and started to prioritize on only keeping me above water as they began to sink.

Cradled in the water's drowning arms, I anchored my sight on my parents until they sank out of view, taken from me as the storm around me roared its load laughter. The last memory I had of them was of their skin, grey and clammy keeping me aloft and trying to show no fear on the face of nature's terror, their love shining through.

_Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,_

_Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth_

My consciousness slipped from my grasp and I hoped I wouldn't die. I didn't want my parents efforts to go to waist, lost at sea.

_Mama, oooh, I don't want to die,_

I later learned that Bella, of nine years of age, was the one that saved me that day. She was the first one to spot me and without any reservations to her own safety swam the few strokes it took to reach me and took me back to shore, almost drowning herself in the process. It was a miracle I hadn't smashed into any rocks, she later pointed out.

_I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all_

_I see a little silhouette of a man,_

When I first came to, I thought I had died and was assigned an Angel closer to my age as not to set me on frenzy at heaven's doors, I supposed. She was prettier than anyone I had ever seen, with dark braded hair and big, warm, gentle brown eyes that stared worriedly at me. Heaven hurt, I figured after a few moments of ogling this beautiful Angel unabashedly. Hey, I was a boy of eleven and I was dead, there was nothing that could be mortifying at that point. How mistaken had I been…

_Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango! _

_Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me_

_Galileo, Galileo_

I felt hands, little, delicate hands pressing with forceful and scorching accuracy down on my chest, trying to get my heart pumping again. Something warm trickled down the sides of my mouth.

"Please, please be alive…" someone prayed and I hoped without hope.

_That__feels__nice_, I remember thinking as I felt hands gently brushing through my hair and patting my face.

_Galileo, Galileo _

_Galileo, Figaro - magnifico _

I remembered vomiting salt water and what felt like acid on what looked like a pair of quivering knees, thinking that I was only dreaming.

"Billy! Dad! There's a boy here, help!" a voice shuddering with cold hollered with urgency. I was slipping under again when, suddenly, I was shaken to again.

"Sweetheart, we're coming! Sue, call an ambulance."

"Bella!"

"Here, Dad!"

I screamed and tried to run away, thinking that the holds of the sea were trying to shackle me back into their depths.

"Dad, hurry!" she cried, hearing my agony.

_I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me_

_He's just a poor boy from a poor family,_

_Spare him his life from this monstrosity_

"Isn't heaven _not_ supposed to hurt?" I asked my Angel with a grimace, almost indignant. I saw relief flood the Angel's features before a radiant smile graced her lips.

"You're not dead, silly!" she laughed, sounding relieved.

"I'm not?" I was incredulous, to say the least, and in a world of pain. Momentarily the thought that she wasn't an Angel crossed my mind, but I pushed it aside for later before I could get embarrassed. "My parents…" I suddenly remembered as I tried to get up, trying to get back into the water.

_Easy come, easy go, will you let me go_

_Bismillah! No, we will not let you go_

_(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go_

"I didn't see anyone else," my Angel informed me quietly, avoiding my frenzied eyes. "I'm sorry." She held on to me tightly as I trembled with cold, rage, pain, and hopelessness. Suddenly feeling all my strength leave me, I understood the finality in her voice and accepted what I could not change with crushing inevitability. I had been so naïve to hope.

"Bella why are you drenched? Are you hurt?"

"Dad! Please, make sure he's okay, I found him and I thought he was dead…" my Angel was crying again. For my sake. I wanted to comfort her but my arms and my body wouldn't obey me and move. "You can ground me later for acting without thinking…"

_(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go_

_(Let me go) Will not let you go _

_(Let me go)(Never) Never let you go_

_(Let me go) Never let you go (Let me go) Ah_

"Kid, are you… what's your name?" someone other than my Angel asked and I couldn't bring myself to answer, too wrapped up in sudden feeling of being alone that was taking hold of my heart and making me choke on air. "Can you understand what I'm saying to you?"

_Yes_, I wanted to say but the words wouldn't form.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

_Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go_

_Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me_

_So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye_

_So you think you can love me and leave me to die_

_Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,_

_Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here_

"Dad, let me," I heard my Angel say. "Hey, what's your name?" she asked me quietly and I looked at her and her solemn eyes. Steadily my breathing eased and I held myself to her, afraid of letting go. Afraid that she was someone I had made up at the brink of death.

"Jasper," I breathed hoarsely. "Jasper Callias Whitlock, Ma'am. What's yours?" I felt her smile against my cheek and she momentarily tighten her hands around me. She was so warm…

"Jasper Callias Whitlock," she repeated. I assumed it was for her father's benefit. "My name is Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella."

"Bella," I breathed, feeling momentarily at ease as my lids grew heavy and I held her tightly to me.

"And this is my dad, Chief Charlie Swan…" I heard her last words as if from a great distance before I was under again.

_Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,_

_Nothing really matters,_

After, as you could imagine, water became my one fear. No, saying water is my fear is an understatement. Water terrifies me. No, water is my phobia to the extent that I can't shower unless Bella or someone I truly trust is just outside my bathroom door talking me through it every single day. I can't even get close to a body of water without becoming clammy, sweaty, and my vision dimming. You could imagine my hysteria when I learned that seventy-five percent of the human body is water. I went into a panic attack and blacked out before Bella could talk me out of it. To this day, if I dwell too long on it, sometimes I hyperventilate at the horror of the thought. Still, I have Bella, and Bella has me to see me through her own phobia. We have each other.

_Nothing really matters to me_

_Any way the wind blows..._

Thinking of Bella and the past helped me get a grip on reality and by the time the song was done I was able to move and wash my body in spite of the petrifying fear that still tried to choke me through the warm tendrils of water trying to rip me apart as they slid down my body. I shivered and trembled with every drop that felt too tight on my throat, trying to overcome and focus on washing myself. I didn't trust myself enough to close my eyes, but I did as I washed my hair and Bella's iPod kept on playing.

Remembering the music I tuned in, trying to calm my jittering breath.

…_I thought I could organize freedom_

_How American of me_

_This is who I am_

_You figured it out, didn't you?_

_You could smell it_

_So you left me on my own_

_To complete the mission_

_Now I'm leaving it all behind_

_I'm going hunting…_

I tuned out once again as my eyes fluttered open and I braced myself against the storm I felt was going around me. After a moment, as if Bella was talking in my ear I realized that everything was fine and I was still in my tile-covered bathroom and hurried along.

I tuned back into the chorus of a new song and listened, hoping it would sooth me as I washed the last of the soap away.

_You find your faith has been lost and shaken_

_You take back what's been taken_

_Get on your knees and dig down deep_

_You can do what you think is impossible_

_Keep on believing, don't give in_

_It'll come and make you whole again_

_It always will, it always does_

_Love is unstoppable_

_Love, it can weather any storm_

_Bring you back to being born again_

_oh, it's a helping hand when you need it most_

_A lighthouse shinning on the coast_

_That never goes dim_

_When your heart is full of doubt_

_And you think that there's no way out…_

I turned off the iPod once I was toweled dry; my hair had been styled into a perfect mess after a lot of effort, and had my clothes on the right way. Don't judge me, I was hungry and for a moment, while my stomach had been complaining, I had put my shirt on backwards… Bella had chosen for me one of my button-down shirts with short sleeves, blue-grey and one of her favorites (she said it made my equally blue-gray eyes pop), and my snug low-rise, washed-out, and ripped jeans. It was comfortable so I couldn't complain.

As I went to put my towel on the hook behind the bathroom door I found another post-it, this one neon green. It almost hurt my eyes to look at it.

FOLLOW THE NEXT SET OF ARROWS

THEY ARE JUST OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM DOOR.

BE GOOD AND GOOD LUCK!

Smiling brightly and feeling refreshed, despite my moment panic, I did as I was told willingly and happily. Happily until I saw that those damned arrows lead to my right and away from the kitchen and the delicious smell of breakfast. I almost gave up when I suddenly realized that the direction the arrows were leading me was the one area of the house Bella had deemed out of bounds to me for almost a month now. Curiosity trumping over my stomachs rumbling hunger I went the instructed way.

Pushing aside the plastic construction site white tarp dividing the part of the living room, I stepped through. I gaped at wall all of five minutes, barely able to blink.

"How…" I breathed out in awe of Isabella Swan, my friend extraordinaire. Maybe my little dig at her mocking title was nothing far from the truth after all. Vaguely, I remembered one afternoon, at the beginning of last month, when Bella had come over dragging a projector behind her and threatened to castrate me if I so much as touched it without her permission and then disappeared without staying to visit. The next day, she did much the same. Only, this time around, she had brought that damned tarp, tightly wrapped under her arm like an oversized football and had set everything up and then left, but not before making it a "No Jasper Callias Whitlock Site".

I tried reminding her that it was my home and I could very well go where I damned pleased to disastrous developments. That led to a reminder of my impending castration, unless I obeyed. Needles to say, I raised no further argument, she was one of those that meant what she said and said what she meant, if you get my drift. With nothing further to argue about she had left, leaving me to pout after her for not paying attention to me for the remainder of the month. Now that I think about it, I never saw her bring in any paint.

I chuckled darkly at the memory and was glad that I had followed through… though I had come close once to braking down and giving in to temptation, but Bella had found me red-handed before I could set foot into the forbidden zone and lets just say I almost ended with my balls handed over to me in a little frilly box turned into Petit Fours. I shuddered at the painful image.

Now, back to the here and now; I took in every single detail of my wall in and admired it. I could not believe Bella had turned my wall into a landscape version of that Japanese painting, a portrait, we had seen once in an Asian art fair and fallen in love with. I fell in love with it because the woman depicted in the canvas ever so elegantly and gently resembled the Bella I saw in my mind's eye with uncanny acuity. Of course, Bella had her own reasons all together that I new nothing of for falling in love with this very portrait, but I was sure they couldn't possibly be the same.

My wall was now painted a pale gold and delicate, brown lines that rounded in certain key places formed the face, hair, and eyes of the woman. Her delicate eyes, peach mouth, and her hair, which spiraled and twisted around her form, like a silken blanket, were my favorite features. Over the pale gold there was a darker one, leaning more on a mustard color, mixed with browns that formed a sort of serene smudging all over the empty space, making her seem suspended in time, and then there was the delicate brightening of the upper right corner, cast in a canary yellow.

All of this was set in such a way that the image seemed to be draining at the very center of the wall, bringing focus to what the woman was cradling with such love that it brought a softening to her features. Only pure love could accomplish that, I remembered being told. Love had been captured and frozen forever for anyone to see, it was breathtaking.

The focus of the painting is what the enamored woman is cradling in her arms, four orbs of varying hues of blues and aqua tones, shaped like little, peaceful hurricanes. They looked like they were, either, the windows to her soul or the windows to the universe. I had yet to decide on which, though I was beginning to lean on the theory that it was probably a mesh of the two. Again; _Breathtaking_.

My admiring came to an end when I spotted another sticky-note, yellow this time, and approaching the wall, reached for it.

LOOK BEHIND YOU

Heart hammering, I deliberately did as I was told and turned to face the wall that I liked to call an island, because it was slightly wider than I with my arms spread and was just in the middle of the room. Hence, the island nickname. My disappointment only lasted a second as I spied yet another of my favorite paintings painted on my wall.

This one was more eccentric and a little eclectic, with bold lines and colors. The background was ox red and in the middle was the beheaded silhouette of a woman that ended at the curving of her hips. Just over her left shoulder, there was a hallowed electric-blue rectangle with a forest-green solid one underlining it. It was very simple, but beautiful.

I blushed lightly looking at it. I had never told Bella why this peace was one of my favorites. Not that I would, ever. I couldn't. And even if I could, I wouldn't. The reason behind my fascination with this singular canvas is that the shape of the woman depicted was similar to Bella's. Therefore, it was an arousing image to me. I couldn't possibly tell the girl I was in love with that, especially when I couldn't even tell her my own feelings.

In part, the reason I wouldn't tell Bella about my feelings had to do with my fear of her not reciprocating and then our friendship of ten year coming to end, but really, that was just an excuse. The real reason lay in that I was the exact definition of damaged goods. How could a woman like Bella fall for someone as damaged as I? Sure, she loves me as a friend, but I practically enforced that friendship on her.

You see, after I was released from the hospital my dad's best friend, Carlisle Cullen, had taken me in and Bella was my savior and the only familiar face I knew. Naturally, I stuck to her like white on rice. I was comfortable with her, she knew my fear and understood it. I didn't have to explain myself to her. And then, later, when her own fear was made known, we had an equal understanding and a silent agreement to be there for each other when our fears managed to get the better of us.

I would never say that our friendship was as easy as breathing. No, it was grating, harsh, discordant, and at times unhealthy, but we worked and fought to keep it alive because we knew that no one could understand us like we understood each other. We got on e ach other's nerves.

Our friendship was something often frowned upon, we pushed away as many people as we tried to keep in. there were a lot of tears shed in the process, a lot of making up and apologies. In the end, we were the sole survivors of our own intricate play of walking on eggshells, with her family behind her and I with Carlisle's support. Now, in our lives there was Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie. They were the only three that seemed to understand enough not to frown or judge, which sometimes earned them an inkling into our world and a place in our hearts.

Smiling I picked up my next instructions;

TO THE KITCHEN, YOU

I KNOW YOUR STOMACH MUST BE COMPLAINING

GO ON, HAVE A GO AT IT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAVE

Relieved, I hightailed it and made my merry way to kitchen to sate my hunger, promising myself that I would come back to admire my gifts some more.

* * *

**OoO**

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_**A/N:** There's more to come... this turned out to be longer than I had anticipated before... give me some reviews, please?_


	3. All Of My Favorites

**Self-Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder**

I chuckled as I approached the kitchen. Bella had plastered sticky-notes all over the place. Thankfully, I knew where to start because I noticed that they were arrow-shaped again and they were all pointing to the right before I could work myself into a panic. One by one I bent and began to pick them up.

JASPER,

DO YOU REMEMBER THE DAY WE MET?

I DO.

I REMBER BEING SO SCARED…

I HAD HAD THIS GNAWING FEELING,

SOMETHING KEPT TELLING ME TO LOOK AT THE HORIZON

AND THEN I HEARD IT, YOUR VOICE

IT CALLED OUT TO ME

LIKE A WHISPER IN MY EAR

AND THAT WAS WHEN I SAW YOU

I SWAM TO YOU, THE WATER BITING COLD

SO COLD THAT MY LUNGS FELT FROZEN

THEY HURT, STILL, I SWAM ON

CHOKING ON WATER

YOUR SKIN WAS GREY WHEN I REACHED YOU

AND YOU WERE SO COLD TO THE TOUCH

I THOUGHT FOR SURE YOU WERE DEAD

STILL, I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF

TO JUST LET YOU GO.

I JUST COULDN'T.

And I was grateful every single day that she hadn't given up on me. I remembered, I wanted to tell her, but she wasn't here for me to let her know that the memory of that day had seen me through my fear today when she wasn't. I had driven my fear away with my oldest fear. That was something for the books.

I had just reached the first destination the arrows had been leading me to, the microwave.

WARM ME UP

1-2 MINUTES WILL DO

Pressing one minute and a half I continued on route.

I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TOO

I CAN'T THINK OF A WORLD WITHOUT YOU

JASPER,

A DAY WITHOUT YOU IS INSUFFERABLE

DID YOU KNOW?

I CAN'T BARE THE THOUGHT…

I couldn't bear the thought of a world without her in it either. Where would I be without her in my life? That's right, dead. I only wish I could protect her from such dark thoughts. Of course, I couldn't. I couldn't even protect myself from my own; therefore, I had no right wishing to protect her from her own. I had reached the fridge now.

OPEN ME.

I did, finding several items labeled with a 'TAKE ME OUT AND PLACE ME ON THE TABLE' note. Following orders, I took out a glass of orange juice with my name, milk, homemade whipped cream, syrup, and butter. I placed them on the kitchen table, alongside my favorite _Honey __Bunches __of __Oats_ cereal, already placed there, where there was another note telling me to fetch my food from the microwave.

"Kudos, Bella," I murmured in a toast of sorts as I took in the delicious sight of all the assorted goods Bella had placed on my plate. Most of my plate was dominated by what we had christened "the V for Vendetta Toasts", only with a twist, since Bella had experimented with turning them into French toasts with the Sunnyside up eggs in the middle. The combination of the saltiness from the eggs and the sweetness of the added syrup made for an appetizing combination, though, at first glance, you wouldn't think so.

Next, my mouth watered, as I took in the sight and the aroma of bacon, sausage, and hash brown. Bella made some mean hash brown's. Second best, only to her homemade whipped cream. _Yup_, just like Bella had promised, these were all my favorite. Though, admittedly, anything Bella could cook me up would easily become my favorite food, as long as she made it herself.

Pulling a chair back, so that I could sit down and enjoy this delicacy made especially for me, I spied another letter, this one in an envelope, with Bella's scrawny scribbles all over it. Picking the letter up, I pried it open, and sat myself. Pouring myself some syrup over my French toasts and a dollop of Bella's homemade whipped cream, for good measure, I began to dig in.

"Hmm," I hummed in appreciation, eyes closed as the explosion of flavors danced across my tongue and drove my tastes buds into sensory overdrive. It was _that _delicious. After a great deal of almost physically harming consideration, I decided to set my plate aside and grab another so I could start with my cereal and end with the delicacy. Trust me, it was harder than it sounds, prying my taste buds from finishing what I had started after giving them such a teasing taste. Somehow, I managed.

As I ate my cereal, my eyes were drawn once again to the letter I now held open in my hands and I began to read.

Jasper,

Now that you are 21 and can legally drink, don't forget the little people after burning those precious braincells.

_[I __snorted __at __the __thought. __Isabella __Swan __is __and __will __always __be __unforgettable.]_

No, to more serious things, Jasper, along the lines of what I was saying before… You know that I care deeply for you, right?

_[I found myself nodding vigorously, heart pounding with longing. I knew she cared, just not the way I wished she did. Still, I could hold out hope.]_

The reason I've had you doing all these crazy things today and bombarded your home with so many post-it's, ripping a hole in my pocket in the process, is because I want you to remember us as we are. And because it's your birthday and you deserve it. I only wish I had more to offer.

you've reached that age that everyone has warned me about, the one where you'll begin to pull away from me and find new people to kick off your turning point moment in life.

Stop making that face Jasper and let me explain myself properly before you go off making wild assumptions.

_[She __knew __me __so __well, __I _was _making __a __face. __I __frowned __at __that. __I __was __feeling __a __little __put __out __and __if __I__'__m __being __frank __with __myself, __a __little __hurt. Bella had given me, in the trajectory of our friendship, more than I could have ever asked from her. Not that I had a right to ask her for anything. Still, she continued to give me things I would have never dreamed of asking without any reservations or asking for anything in return. I love that about her.]_

Just so you know, I've never grouped you up with the rest of the male population and I'm not gonna start now. You stand too high above the norm for me to entertain that notion at all. You are one in a billion, Jasper, and I have had the honor of seeing you transform into the man you are today and I just hope I can continue to spy that at your side. This is why it has never crossed my mind that you'll pick up and leave me behind with all our memories to find your own pursuit of happiness. What **has **crossed my mind, however, is the possibility that you might begin to shut me out.

"I would never do that!" I argued out loud, forgetting that I was reading a letter and that she wasn't here to hear any of it in my outrage. "I swear. I will never do that, not to you. We've been through too much, seen and shared too much together." I had to say this for my peace of mind as I went back to the letter.

Right now, I'm telling you this and making it clear, Jasper Callias Whitlock, if you **ever** try to shut me out, I will not stand for it. If I ever suspect that you are doing as much, I shall be handing you your balls in a silver platter. And that's a sure promise you can count on.

_[Gulping, I believed her. I could just picture it too, her telling me this with that winning, dangerous smile of hers. Unconsciously, my hand went to make sure that said threatened balls were where they ought to be, last time I checked. They were.]_

Now that that's out of the way, can I steal you for myself today? What? You didn't think I did all this without expecting anything in return, now did you? You should know by now that where my hand goes and gets involved, when it comes to you, especially, there will most certainly be an underlying ulterior motive waiting to sprout its eager head. Even if you think so, I'm no Saint, you know?

_[Honestly, I didn't know why I was even surprised. In other words, I was surprised that I was surprised. That being said, I would go commit suicide with Bella this afternoon if that was what she had in mind, which I'm sure it wasn't, as long as I was with her. She didn't have to ask. I ought to let Carlisle know that I'll need a raincheck on that birthday dinner… I'll call him later.]_

I thought I'd ask out of courtesy, really. Do call Carlisle, he wanted to celebrate with you. Tell him that I'm sorry for being selfish this year and robbing him of his time with you, just not enough to hand you over.

I'll see you later, Love,

Your Isabella

I stared at Bella's name long after I had read it and reread her signature. She _never _addressed herself as 'Isabella', she hated it. I was one of the few that got away, just barely, with calling her by her given name and survive the aftermath. So you will understand where my puzzlement was coming from as I stared at her simple yet elegant signature and failed to come up with any answers as to what had driven her to close this letter so formally.

I mean, I get that she was pouring her heart out to me, but I had a stash of many other similar letters, in nature, that I had acquired over the years that were all signed, simply, 'Bella'. Yes, I was a sentimental fool who had something that resembled a scrapbook of sorts filled with every single memory of my years with Bella Swan.

In it, it held birthday cards, letters, napkins of restaurants and clubs we had been to, along with train and plain tickets from our visits to her mother, and then there were the occasional trinkets. Such as clamshells, the cork from our first Champaign and wine, soda caps, sand, and then some others that I can't name because they are too plentiful, but you get the idea. It had everything that might remind me of those stolen treasured moments that Bella and I always share when together and this letter was going to be added to that immense, overflowing pile of them.

Once I had cleaned up after myself and gotten every surface of my home sticky-note free, I decided to relax and admire my gifts to distract myself while I waited on Bella to come home. I didn't know what time it was and I wasn't about to go find out, it would only add to my impatience. I wanted to see her so much that I ached. I knew that once she got here I could finally label this day as 'Perfect', because any day spent in her presence always turned out that way, even when we fought, and especially now since it was my birthday. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect twenty-first birthday, I concluded with the goofiest of grins as I sat myself and admired the drawn silhouette that reminded me so much of Bella's. I was content beyond words and there was promise of more to come, I couldn't wait.

* * *

"Jasper!"

My head whipped up at the sound of my name, heart hammering in my chest, and startling me out of sleep in a panic. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep in the first place. I frowned.

"Bella?" I called, but there was no reply. I tried again, "Bella!" Standing, however, I noted that everything seemed a little too dark and I knew it was too early for the sun to be anywhere near setting. I couldn't have been asleep for too long, at least, I didn't think so.

Curiosity got the better of me and I went to get a better view of the world outside my window. I wish I hadn't. It looked like a big storm was brewing. No, a storm _is _brewing. A quick glance at the clock told me it was two thirty-six in the afternoon.

"Shit, shit, shit…" I mumbled as the first flash of lighting split the sky and the rumble of thunder roared in its wake. No sooner did the first drops of rain began to sweep the street, and I began moving. Like a whirlwind, I was set into motion as I tried to remember the last place I had seen the spare key to Bella's car. After searching every available surface of my home and skewing my usually orderly home in the process, I was about to give up when I finally found it by the table near the entrance. I pocketed the key with trembling fingers, my panting breathes leaving my chest with an equally quivering cadence. I had to close my eyes to concentrate on clearing my head and slow my breathing so I could think rationally.

I was staring at the door with my hand rattling over the doorknob and trying to talk myself into turning it, when another flash of lightning and the rumble of thunder shook me out of my reservations, setting me into motion once again. Bella needs me, I told myself to get me to wrench the door open and out the threshold and onto the street. Cursing myself, I hesitated as my own soul rattled within the confinements of my shivering body. I had to get out there and face the rain, my phobia once again, for Bella, knowing she would do it for me.

Cursing like only a sailor knew how and wrenching the door open, I stepped over the threshold and ran into the pouring rain, where thoughts of my paralyzing fear gnawed at me but my will to find Bella helped me focus on putting one foot in front of the other. My breathing grew labored once again and I felt my whole body shake as the shock of what was going on around me settled in.

It was so cruel. Subtle, seductive, and everything that death was. Cold. Seeping through my clothes, I felt its path, slithering from my head and making its way down. I felt its sure, lazy conduit cover every inch of my tremor induced skin raise with goosebumps at its touch and then it was as if my tremolos heart became the focus at its crescendo. So cold, it held onto my heart and my heart stilled, my lungs froze, and I couldn't breath any more as it choke me with lazy threads of water the kept on winding around all of me. I needed to get out of the rain. I needed out. If only I could _move_! _Water, water… I can't_, I was hyperventilating, I couldn't think and I was breathing in a lungful of water with every hesitant breath. I can't do this. I wanted to _scream_! My knees felt so weak, almost giving under when I heard it-

"_Jasper!_" I heard a voice cry with such terror that it's tremor vibrated to my very core. My head whipped around, searching for the source of the scream that still rang, echoing in my ears, but there was no one else on the street except the roar of the rain and me. Not even a passing car.

_Bella. _

The thought of her had me running again. She was the one crying my name, I knew, though I didn't understand it. All my reservations didn't matter right now, weather or not I could put my own fear aside long enough to make it to where Bella was did. I just had to get to her. My will alone to be there for her allowed me to keep on running and ignore the claws of the rain snagging at my neck, feet, and clothing, trying to finish what they couldn't eleven years ago as it chase me, always one drop ahead of me.

Terrified I ran towards Bella, _for_ Bella. The rain could steal my life, but I wouldn't allow it to steal me from Bella. _Bella won't be stolen from me_, I vowed to the rain.

"Hold out for me, Bella, please, hold out for me, I'm coming," I prayed, hoping I could reach her in time and keeping a steady stream of Bella's name, like a mantra, to help me cut through the downpour.

* * *

**OoO**

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**A/N:**_So, __what__'__s __the __thought __so __far? __Drop __me __a __review __and __let __me __know, __please?_


	4. Coming To Her Emotional Rescue

**Self-Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder**

_**Chapter Four:**_

_**Coming To Her Emotional Rescue**_

* * *

…

* * *

_An hour and fifteen minutes later; _

On the verge of losing my sanity, I find myself barely standing in front of Forks High School, panting for every rattling breath I take, and soaked from head to toe, trembling and teeth clattering. For the past five minutes, I've been staring at the imposing, wide red metal double doors that lead into the school hallways and wondering why they refuse to open.

A guttural scream rips from my throat, searing, and I kick and punch the unyielding double doors, willing them to burst open with my violent battering –adding to the noise of the tempest raging. Still, it refuses to open. Cursing under my breath, I quiver under the assault of the elements as my mind and body, controlled by my worst fears, betrays me yet again.

_I just want to get out of the rain and get to Bella, _I silently plea.

Slamming my forehead against the unforgiving, cool metal of the door in defeat, I try to think of any other way in from my time walking these very halls. Suddenly, the wind moans and groans around me, growing menacing in its intensity, and the rain slams against my back icily and cutting, biting at every inch of exposed skin like icicle needles. Meanwhile, the world around me crashes loudly in my ears with another deafening roar and the leaves and trees rustle and groan with the force of the unrelenting wind.

Immediately, every single hair follicle on my body stands at apprehensive attention; warning me and begging me to figure something out, anything, to get myself out of my own personal paradox of prolonged drowning. Urgently, my fists and my kicks land hit after hit against the door on the left, trying to coax it into bursting open for me while the roar of the storm raging around me grows with deafening intensity.

With a great rattle and a burst of lightning, closely followed by a loud clap of thunder, I mercifully manage to wrench one of the heavy metal double doors open with undisguised frenetic impatience and stagger forward.

Though I momentarily wonder what it is I did different from the last two times I unsuccessfully tried to pry open the doors, I am so relieved that they've finally burst open that I don't have the right state of mind to dwell on it long enough. Instead, I practically launch face first into the floor with the momentum as soon as it bursts open and I begin to fall. Thankfully, my reflexes react faster than my thoughts and I make a grab for the door handle, which screeches in protest under my weight, and catch myself just in the knick of time.

_So that was how… these doors have this weird, one-bar handle… _I realize, _and they open forward_.

Ungainly finding myself on the other side of the threshold, I allow the metal door to noisily fall shut behind me. The moment it does, I stumble forward slightly as it hits my back on the retrieve and jump slightly as it swings back into place with a sound much like a death knell. Once I regain my balance and straighten up, I take a couple of unsteady steps further into the building and the familiar sight of its creamy linoleum tiles.

Finally inside and away from the rain, I sigh with relieve. For a moment I allow myself to dwell in this momentary sense of security, this welcome and needed respite. Propping my sagging, drenched weight against a wall and tilting my head back, I close my eyes against the fluorescent lighting to block out the scurrying demons and regain some semblance of control.

_Finally, I am out of the rain. For now…_

Though it still does not escape my notice that I can feel its eerie tendrils on me. I'm hyperaware of every single droplet; indolently running down my face, throat, limbs… trying to suffocate and drown me, just like it did the night it took my parents from me, before it gathers and joins the rest on a harmless puddle at my feet.

_Just breathe, Jasper …breathe… _I remind myself, aware of how my clothes are now wet and plastered to my body. All the while, I continue to hear the muted sound of rainwater slowly guttering down my elegant, angular visage in tendrils and caressing down my clothed body as I drip raindrops onto the creamy linoleum tiles.

_The janitor is not going to be very pleased about this, when he finds this mess in the morning. _I muse absentmindedly as I try to steady my erratic breathing and heart beat back to a normal staccato. With a trembling hand, I wipe my face and open my eyes again. Looking at my trembling hands, I note that they are an eerie greenish color under the harsh fluorescent lighting.

If I remember correctly and more often than not I did, when it came to Isabella Swan, whenever there was a hallway art project during our time here, she always complained about how terrible the lighting here it is unforgiving or something, she used to say and a look of ill-disguised disgust would color her heart-shaped visage. I smile fondly at the recollection and push myself away from the wall. Remembering where I am and _why_, I shake my head violently to rid it of all thoughts and focus.

_Now, to find Isabella…_

Awkwardly standing at the center of the main entrance leading to the many corridors, like vital arteries that make up the small high school, I am at a loss of where to head next. I don't know where Bella might be taking refuge from _her _fear.

The only thing I do know is that Bella comes here twice a week and spends around two hours in one of the unused pottery classrooms set aside for the college students. It is for her oil and acrylics' course.

Since the college we attend is so small and it does not have the sufficient amount of classrooms for first year's Art students, it has had a long-standing agreement with the high school, which the college pays a meager fee for.

Therefore, the high school lends the pottery classroom to all college students during late afternoons and after school hours, all year-round, for two days out of the week and provides them with some painting supplies as well. Honestly, only in Forks does something like this happen.

Conjuring up a mental map of the halls and grounds of Forks High, I take a moment to recall where the art classrooms might be located, according to memory. Though it has been nearly four years since the last time I walked down these familiar halls, I am amazed at how little I truly remember my way around.

Another clash of lightning and thunder puts me on edge and I run frenzied fingers through my drenched tresses, trying to calm myself. Running her fingers through my hair always works for Bella when she's trying to sooth me and take my mind off of my moments of panic. Apparently, unless she is here and the one doing it, it does nothing for me.

Unsure of where to go and conscious of how little time I feel I have in which to find Bella, I try to put one foot in front of the other and concentrate on just that. After all, my current state of panic isn't helping much, when attempting to sort out through my rational and irrational thoughts.

_ I need to get to Bella, quick…_

Nodding derisively, I come up to a decision and settle on just going ahead with my gut feeling on this one and follow my heart, where Bella is the north to my compass. Just as I propel my body into motion once again, a stroke of lightning illuminates my surroundings with a white-blue flash and just as quickly fades.

Blinking away the after images, I hasten my hurried footsteps as the roar of thunder follows in its wake. With each step I take, the soles of my shoes squelch against the creamy tiles and echo throughout the walls of the deserted school, leaving wet footprints behind.

_Bella, I'm on my way…_

Rushing forward and hoping that I'm going the right way, I bypass the cafeteria to my left and another two hallways to my right and left, before making a sharp left and heading down another two deserted corridors. Heart beating frantically and painfully against my chest, I am pleased to note that almost every available surface on either side of this last corridor's walls are covered in student artwork. Meaning, my assumptions are correct and I am on the art's division of the school.

Standing outside the fifth door to my right, which reads 'POTTERY' on a plastic blue plaque and bold white letters next to the doorframe, I hesitate. The door is closed and the lights are out... Taking a deep breath and hoping for the best, I thrust the wooden door open and wince at the sound the doorknob makes as it connects with the wall, like a gunshot lost in the roar of the storm.

There's another bright flash… and about ten seconds later the accompanying clap of thunder ricochets.

_But where is Bella?_

"Bella?" I frantically call, my voice husky and unsteady, unfamiliar.

My eyes quickly scan the small classrooms first. The first three rooms smell of mud, wet clay I suppose, and there are all sorts of pottery in all shapes and sizes drying on almost every surface available. Otherwise, the classroom is empty.

"Bella?" I try again. "Are you in here?" _Nothing_… "Bella, it's me, Jasper!" No reply, just absolute silence. "Answer me, dammit!" I frown, my worries escalating.

_I thought I'd heard her whimper… _

Unexpectedly, there's an electric buzz from on top of me and florescent light floods the room in its eerie greenish glow. Glancing around and using the glow from the light to my advantage, I confirm that, apart from me, the room _is _empty and glance up. Above, the lights flicker on and off with an obnoxious buzzing that grates on my shrewd nerves. Glancing back down, I scan the room again, in the off chance that I might have missed something, and glancing at my feet I notice the puddle forming under the soles of my feet. Shivering, I sidestep the puddle and that's when I hear it –a quiet, frantic whimper...

_Bella!_

My head whips to my left, trying to locate the sound but all I see is another door. The flickering lights extinguish again and I wait. _Lighting _flashes… Once again, I hear her whimper, but this time she also calls my name. _Thunder _claps…

"Jasper...?" I indistinctly hear Bella's quivering voice whimper.

_There_.

Her voice is coming from the other side of the door, which probably opens up to an adjacent room. I still and strain my ears… "Jasper…" Bella sobs again and beyond the shadow of a doubt I know…

"Bella..." Heart leaping to my throat and tension ebbing, I stride forward, swiveling between tables and toward the closed door. Holding my breath, I try the doorknob. When it gives easily and without a sound, I open it and stare into absolute darkness. "I'm here," I try to assure her.

"Jasper... Jasper, I'm so scared," she cries quietly and my heart constricts as I try to locate the outline of her silhouette in the darkness and rush to her side. "Where are you?" Bella sounds so frighten, it tears my heart in two. "I– I need you…"

When my eyes locate Bella in the dimness of the flickering lights through straining eyes, I sigh, sagging against the door with immense relieve, and clutch tight to the doorknob for support. She's on the furthermost corner of the classroom, away from all the glass windows clustering the wall that oversees a great agglomeration of greenery and the flashes of threatening lightning. With her back to the windows, she's coiled into a tight ball, hugging her knees to her chest, forehead on her knees, and facing the wall with closed eyes, while keeping her back guarded and surrounded by her canvas and easel, a self-made fortress of sorts, and rocking back and forth as she tries to not give into her fear completely.

A vicious flash of lightning flashes too close for comfort near the windows, eerily illuminating the scene in a purple-ish-green light that lingers in the sky and then, disappears, leaving behind a temporarily deafening silence. Then, before the answering thunder can be heard, Bella's hands are covering her ears and her muscles ripple and bunch all over with her fear as the roar of thunder finally catches up and a throaty, strangled scream rips from her throat. This specific clash of thunder claps louder than the others before and as it echoes again, Bella's lips and entire frame quivers as my name falls from her lips like a prayer.

"Bella?" I cautiously call, uncertain.

Gasping quietly, Bella stiffens and slowly lifts her head from her knees and tries to locate me in the dimness as she glances over her shoulder in the general direction of the door. "Who-who's there?" Bella asks through quivering lips, frightened. As another flash of lightning provides her with enough light, despite her apprehension, Bella meets my eyes from across the cluttered classroom. There's a tense pause and then, her eyes widen in recognition.

"Are you okay?" I ask uneasily. Bella trembles at my question, an involuntary answer that tells me that no, clearly, Bella isn't okay and won't be until all this has passed. My knuckles whiten as I grip the doorknob a little too tightly, I hate seeing her so frightened. Hate seeing the white surrounding her brown eyes when they are widened in fear and I hate that there's nothing much I can do about it. Except, be by her side. "Don't move Bella, everything will be okay. I'm coming to you," I tell her and letting go of the doorknob as my hand goes numb, I make my way to her amid the maze of chairs, tables, easels, and art while trying to avoid the easels and chairs' legs, which I'm mostly successful at avoiding without tripping. All the while, Bella keeps staring at me, mesperized, and I'm extremely thankful that, somehow, I've avoided falling flat on my face.

"You're... Real," she points out, entranced. Shifting nervously to the left so she can keep me in sight and avoid looking at the wall of windows at the same time, the intermittent rain outside picks up and I shiver, feeling raindrops guttering between my shoulder blades. Frowning and cocking her head to the side in disbelieve as I come to a standstill before her and languidly kneel behind her shaking form.

"Yes," I smile reassuringly and forgoing the fact that I'm drenched, I envelope her in my arms. "I'm here and I'm real."

"I thought..." She trails off, gulping and shaking her head as she rests her back against my wet chest, seeming not to notice. "I called for you…" Bella chokes out in wonder, "but you really came..."

Needing to see her face, I shuffle us around a bit. Entranced, Bella's eyes follow my every move. Still, I don't stop until I have Bella's easel covering as much of the windows as possible from our little fort of sorts and her back is to it and I'm now kneeling at her feet. Staring at Bella's pale face, I find my voice once again. "For you..." I swallow, nodding reassuringly as I reach out to dry her tears with trembling fingers.

Eyes wide, she apprises me and slowly, a smile kisses the corner of her mouth. However, it fades a second later as another clash of lightning and thunder invades the pounding sound of rain. Bella's terror has me moving and I cast aside the hands holding her knees and gather her in my arms.

"You're wet!" she gasps and holds me closer, in spite.

"It's raining," I tease, murmuring the words against the crook of Bella's neck.

"I hadn't noticed," she scowls, pulling back slightly and appraising me.

"I -I ran here," I confess sheepishly.

"Why?" She sounds angry and grateful but mostly, concerned. She shivers. "You could have–"

"I forgot. And your truck is here..." I shrug. "Besides, you needed me..." Bella shudders in my arms and I tremble along with her as I feel a trickle of rain from between my shoulder blades run the length of my back.

"I'm sorry..." Bella sobs and buries her face on my shoulder, shaking with shame this time. Feeling contrite by the fact that she's apologizing for something neither of us has control over, I feel her hands clutching and pulling at the back of my wet shirt and focus on that to stop a lump from appearing in my throat. For a moment, I think it works. "I'm so, so sorry..."

I feel the lump finally form and expand at the back of my throat, threatening to suffocate me and causing my tears to prickle dangerously, threatening to fall. "It's okay," I choke out and they fall, but I brush them aside before Bella can notice.

"No. It isn't," she refutes, stubborn as ever.

"Bella, I was so scared for you, I barely noticed..." I lie, trying to sooth her. Bella shakes her head, knowing me better than that. I sigh. "Okay, I was terrified..." I admit quietly against her hair.

She freezes, looking torn. "But you came," she breathes.

I kiss her hair and pull back slightly so that I can look into her eyes. "Because I was more afraid of not being here for you when you need me..." I confess, eyes beseeching. Bella blinks, trying to blink back her tears. "You're always there for me when I need you, Bella... its only fair I finally return the favor."

"Thank you," she mumbles and leaning forward, kisses my cheek tenderly. Heat blooms from her lips to my cheek and the rest of my body ignites in answer.

I clear my throat. "Any time…"

I shiver as her fingertips lightly touch my face and neck as she brushes aside the signs of rain for an excuse to memorize my visage with her touch, I can only hope. "Thank you," she whispers again and my breath catches as her eyes meet mine and I see the sincerity in them.

"We should go home," I manage to breathe once I look away, else I might be tempted to kiss her.

"Home," she agrees and hearing the smile in her voice, despite the obvious tremor of fear at the thought of facing what's outside, I glance at her. However, Bella's eyes are shut tight as a specially bright flash of light breaks through the dim darkness.

"Where's your hoodie?" I ask her, trying to give her an anchor in my voice. She clutches onto it.

"Its inside my old school locker," she tells me, slowly opening her eyes, "it's still the same combination. Can you believe that?"

"We'll grab it on our way out then," I tell her, quickly coming up with a plan of action. "That way, you can use it to cover your face and block out the flashes."

"Okay," she whispers weakly as I help her to her feet. However, she's firm on her feet the moment she stands and quickly begins cleaning up her are and gathering her things with a single-mindedness only Bella can pull off in moments like this.

"Is there anything you need to take with you from any of this?" I ask as I help her put things in order. So focused on her task, Bella barely manages a nod and briefly pauses as another flash brightens the room, but quickly tries to move on while trembling slightly. Everything finally put away, I motion for her to lead our way out the door and she nods, immediately heading toward the door. In case she might stumble, I follow close behind and straighten up chairs we momentarily stumble on in our hast to get out.

"Jasper," Bella mumbles as we step into the hallway and abruptly comes to a halt, making me stumble into her.

"Wow!" Grabbing onto Bella's hips, I steady us and quickly let go. "What's wrong Bella?" I ask in a hushed whisper, fleetingly wondering why I even bother as thunder echoes through the halls.

"I'm scared," she answers, glancing over her shoulder at me and looking sheepish. "Hold my hand?"

"Of course." My heart jackhammering at the prospect of holding Bella's hand, I can do little but agree to her appealing request. "Anything for you."

"Take me home, Jasper." Bella holds out her hand behind her and, without hesitating, I hold her small hand in mine, feeling her warmth spreading through my limbs, cold with numb fear. For a second, I have a flash of two younger versions of ourselves of about eleven and fourteen years of age, holding hands and running as I purposefully lead Bella away from the site of a horrible car crash...

Shaking my head and my memories away, I walk astride a frozen Bella and then continue past her, still holding her hand, assuming the leading role once again and dragging her with me. Without resistance, Bella follows quietly behind, her hand clutching tightly to mine as she entwines our fingers together. The sounds of our shuffling feet and the storm still raging outside are the only sounds that disturb the otherwise comfortable quite as we attempt to make our way home. Not to mention, the roaring of rushing blood in my ears.

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_**A/N: **There's one more chapter to go and then this story will come to an end. Thank you for reading. (And, hopefully, reviewing!) _

_Next time, I will be touching upon the reason behind Bella's fear and how/why she has it._


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